Ah, Valentine's Day. If you're single or not in a serious relationship (and sometimes even if you are), the big V-Day can cause you lots of undue stress.
 
If you're single, you may dread it because you don't have a date or aren't in a relationship with someone.
 
If you're in a casual relationship (or one that's just starting out), you're worried about what to do that's "appropriate".
 
Men feel pressure to spend lots of money to impress their dates. Women stress out trying to "read the signals" of the guys.
 
All-in-all, it's just a messy situation.
 
Never fear, however, Social Charm is here to help with our "Valentine's Day Survival Guide". So take a few deep breaths, sit back, and pay attention. You'll make it - we promise.
 
Here are some quick tips, no matter what your dating situation:

If you are single and feel like going out:
 

• Grab some friends.  Contrary to what your perception might be, it is not the case that everyone in the world except you is in a relationship or dating. Lots of people are single - probably some of your friends, too. Take the initiative and suggest you all go out somewhere and have some fun. If they're single, they'll probably be more than happy to go. Invite guys and girls if you can. Invite some couples to come along - they can show up after they've done their private Valentine's Day stuff together.
  
  
• Meet people. Valentine's Day is actually a great day to meet new people: women are going to be extra sensitive to the possibility of meeting someone new, and guys - well, guys are pretty much always ready to meet women.

To start a conversation with someone new, here are few low-risk ways (to really learn how to approach and start a conversation with anyone, take a look a our Captivating Conversations program - these are just some of the basic ways):

• Ask them for some type of information, such as "What time is it?", "Do you know how to get to X?", "Do you know what time this places closes?", etc. It doesn't matter if you already know the answer - the point is to get the conversation started. The key here is that you must follow up their answer with more information about why you asked. This
  a) keeps the conversation going,                b) makes you seem less awkward, an
  c) gives them some extra information to use if they want to keep the conversation going
  
  For example, if you ask somewhat what time the bar closes and tell you 2am, follow up with something like "Okay, that's what I thought - I just can't stay up *too* late, since I need to finish the painting I'm working on."
  
  
• Make a comment about the situation. You can make a comment about them or what they are wearing (i.e. "Cool shoes" or "I like your hat"), but if that's still too bold, just make a comment about something that's happening around you, like "I think I'm going to go deaf" (if the music is really loud), "Looks like people around here know how to party" (if people are going crazy). Again, the key here is to keep talking after their initial response. You need to accept that you might need to keep talking for a minute until you say something that allows them to contribute to the conversation.

If you are single and DON'T feel like going out:

• Realize it's just another day. February 14th is just like any other day. There's nothing magical about it, and your worth as a person is in no way correlated to whether or not you have a date. Do whatever you'd normally do - exercise, get some errands or chores done, watch some TV, and get to bed early. Tomorrow will be here before you know it, and your body will thank you for the rest.
  
  
• Reward yourself. Just because you're not going out doesn't mean you can't enjoy yourself. Do something that you enjoy, buy yourself something (little) that you've wanted, and spend some quality 'me' time doing what you want to do.
  
  
• Host a house party. If you don't want to go to the party, bring the party to you. Invite a few of your friends over and either have a dinner or just a BYOB. Relax and enjoy some food, drinks, and fun with your friends - sounds like a good time to me.

If you're single, whether you DO or DO NOT go out:
 

• Do NOT contact that person (or people) you are interested in on Valentine's day. No flowers, no phone calls, no nothing - lay low.
  
  
• A few days later, feel free to give them a call or text to see how their doing. Do not ask what they did on Valentine's day - just assume that they were either alone or with someone of lesser quality than you anyway.
  
  
• If you did do something fun on Valentine's day, feel free to subtly hint that you went out "on Saturday" with "a friend" - the best way to do this is to tell an indirect story that involves them. For example, telling a funny story about how you and your "friend" went to a great restaurant on the beach when this woman's hat blew away into the ocean is much better than something more direct.
  
  
• Do not get drunk and call or text someone you wish you were with. This does not work. Trust us.
  
  
• A generic text message to all your friends saying something like "Happy V-Day to all my friends!" is fine - this may (or may not) reveal some hidden interest on the other parties part.
  

If you are Dating/Undefined/Friends-With-Benefits

This is a tough one.

• If you're a women, your best bet is to either a) just let whatever happens happen without too much reading into it one way or the other, or b) send a very lighthearted, non-serious, playful card or text. Guys can freak out and agonize over what to do in these situations, so give him a break, and don't force it one way or another, unless you're willing to walk away from the relationship if things don't go your way.
  
  
• If you're a man, understand that women get anxious in these situations, as there is often a lot of social pressure on them to 'have someone', even if normally they are okay with something less well-defined or serious. As soon as you ask her out, she's going to know that you're interested. If she isn't equally interested, you stop being a challenge and she might lose interest. Conversely if she is into you and you don't ask her out, you might lose her to someone who does. It's not fair, but it is reality. Your best bet: get a bunch of people going out - girls and guys - and ask her to come along. This gets her involved but keeps the situation light and informal.

If you are dating multiple guys or girls long-term

• Get out of town. Seriously. Even if it's known by the other side that you're dating multiple people, they're going to be looking to see which one is most important to you. Avoid having to make this decision. Whether it's a business-trip, going to see your family, or whatever, find a reason (excuse) to leave, and be gone for at least three or four days.
  
  
• Follow up. Send some sort of card/flowers/chocolate/gift, and call them.

If are in a serious, exclusive relationship:

• Men, do this right. Forget anything you might have heard about not paying for dates, being overly romantic, etc. Not today. Put some thought into it, get her a fitting gift, dress up, take her to a nice restaurant, and make her feel special. We recommend ProFlowers for sending flowers no matter what the occasion - they really do have some of the nicest, freshest flowers around. For extra point, send the flowers somewhere where other people will see them - her office, her dorm - wherever. Women often subtly play a "who's got the best boyfriend" competition - if you can help her "win", she'll reward you accordingly :)
  
  
• Women, be understanding of your man. Men are not always as sensitive to this holiday you might like, so if the night isn't as wonderful and romantic as you'd like, it's okay. If you have a good relationship, you should feel comfortable telling him that it's important day to you. Do not be one of those women who says "we don't need to do anything special", and then gets upset if he listens. Men are bad at reading through the lines (unless they've subscribed to this newsletter or purchase our programs) - you've been warned.

If you are in a serious, exclusive, long-distance relationship:

You've only got two days now, so hopefully you've planned ahead.

Guys:
If you haven't already got something planned:

• Go to ProFlower's website RIGHT NOW and order some flowers (this is for guys).
• Send her an e-card like this (everyone take a look at that e-card - it's PERFECT for a real, loving relationship).

For next year:

• If you can visit, great.
  
  
• If you can't visit, plan ahead and do something remotely. Ship something to one of her friends, and ask them to sneak in into her house when the come over. Then when talking to her, describe where it is - she'll be in awe of how you did it.
  
  
• Another idea if you can't visit is to plan a virtual date. Order her some pizza (or Chinese) and pay for it, ship her a Netflix movie, while you get the same one, and watch it together while on the phone with each other.

No Matter Who You Are:

• Send flowers to your mom. She's your mother, and it's valentine's day. Just do it.
  
  
• And your daughters or single female relatives, or anyone else for whom this can make a world of difference.

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